The four squirrels of the Apocalypse


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Squirrel commando (Image courtesy of

What would become of our world if all financial exchanges were to stop all the sudden? There wouldn’t be any damage to our industry, or production ability, or transportation, or anything that makes our everyday life. Society could theoretically keep going merrily. Of course, it’s not that simple: virtual damages can have very real consequences, and our society would more or less rapidly collapse if we didn’t find a way to fix the problem.

Since the dawn of time, squirrels have been humans’ competitors for world domination. Although some lost souls believe that cats are the actual Earth’s dominant species, they’re in fact objective allies of mankind, having no interest in destroying those who so nicely provide for their demanding comfort needs.

Squirrels, on the other hand, have no such issues. Humans hunt them for fun, cut their trees, and even steal their favorite nuts to put them into candy bars, not to mention other types of torture that would be banned by the Geneva Conventions. So, since the dawn of time, squirrels plot against humanity. They are quite deadly, trained in all martial arts techniques even against human vehicles.They are armed, they are dangerous.

Some humans discovered parts of their plans, of course (like this webpage dedicated to the squirrel conspiracy) but nobody believed them. There are even some military units fighting them, and some volunteers militias. It might not be enough, though, for squirrels are already well organized.

Now, the squirrel army is ready for next step: taking down our economics, starting with the most vulnerable part of it: high tech companies. On August 22, 2013, the Nasdaq market was taken down for 3 hours. It could sound like a random event, but as some Squirrel Watchers noticed, it was worse than that. They point at the two previous attempts, in 1987 and in 1994, both squirrel commando actions. Always the same target, our weakest point, the high tech market. Again, they failed, but they’ll try again, and maybe next time they’ll succeed. So if you are out there, beware the squirrels…